Love grows when there is a space or a gap
When I sit back and look at my own life, it appears like a dream. I am probably slightly above average as a student, i have no class when it comes to speech or appearance. But still i have excelled in the outer world in an alien country beyond any one's expectations (including my own!). How did this happen? It is amazing and goes to show that to succeed you don't always need talent. Having a vision and moving towards it with focus, commitment, and faith in the unknown that the best will happen to me may be contributory. Every time i achieve something which i was told was difficult and especially when I achieve it with relative ease, i feel so grateful for the blessings and Grace. I have been not only blessed with a wonderful family, but also great friends, not to mention the Master.
Coming back to the topic of personal space, these people who have contributed to my growth in life can sometimes be suffocating as well (This does not apply to the Master of course!!). As the term goes Familiarly breeds contempt. this is very true with regards to the outer world. The more time I spend with family and friends, the more i take them for granted and tend to slowly lose respect for them. This is especially true with family. Vidya has been wonderful. I probably could not have gotten a better wife or companion. She is all that i am not - extremely talented , skillful and loving. Yet, when we are together very soon, there is discontentment, disagreement and arguments. even though this might happen once a week or less frequently, it leaves a sore note. but after a few months, these disagreements happen more frequently and i start longing for a personal space without her. The need to fulfil demands and expectations and follow a mundane routine is so stifling. A few years ago, by accident she had to stay for a few weeks away in India and i was in the UK all by myself. There was this intense feeling of complete emptiness in the first week from which gradually disappeared as i indulged myself in work. But i also noticed a new sense of freedom and peace. I did not have to come home at the same time, i did not have to sleep at the same time, could spend as much time in front of the computer and did not have to follow a set routine. There was probably less happiness but there was more peace. less frustration, less feverishness but more peace, more relaxation. I also noticed that I had lot more time. I was not running around like a headless chicken. i had a bit more perspective in life. My Sadhana became more regular, my eating habits more refined and i finally had time to read novels, listen to Guruji's tapes and eat only twice a day. That's when I decided this is such a precious time for me!! this is the time for introspection, and feeling the magnitude of the contribution of these loved ones whom I have been sorely missing in their absence. Ever since I have made this commitment to myself, no matter what, I shall have at least 4 weeks of time for myself each year. I have slowly increased this duration and this year i am having a break for nearly 3 months ( which i think is a bit too much).
Apart from an opportunity for introspection, reflection and personal growth, i feel that this period also prepares me for the absence of the loved ones. Life is unpredictable and there is always a possibility in the future that these loved ones may be no more with me to serve me. How would I manage such a life without them? Also how would they manage without me? So I believe that this separateness makes us independent of each other as well. Life moves from dependence to independence to interdependence. this interdependence should be to help each other grow rather than to cling on to each other. Also i believe real inter-dependence is only possible when there is independence. I have seen Vidya become enormously independent and confident in the last few years. I think that this period of separateness which has forced her to take independent decisions is one of the main reasons for her growth.
Another thing which i have noticed that most of my friends when they are away from their family, they tend to spend all their free time visiting people. This may be one way how the world tries to get rid of the feeling of emptiness or loneliness. I on the contrary choose to shun the outer world except for the bare necessities. I tend not to visit people or restaurants , tend to use my phone less, watch less TV and spend more time with myself! Many think I am crazy.
May be I am!!!
When I sit back and look at my own life, it appears like a dream. I am probably slightly above average as a student, i have no class when it comes to speech or appearance. But still i have excelled in the outer world in an alien country beyond any one's expectations (including my own!). How did this happen? It is amazing and goes to show that to succeed you don't always need talent. Having a vision and moving towards it with focus, commitment, and faith in the unknown that the best will happen to me may be contributory. Every time i achieve something which i was told was difficult and especially when I achieve it with relative ease, i feel so grateful for the blessings and Grace. I have been not only blessed with a wonderful family, but also great friends, not to mention the Master.
Coming back to the topic of personal space, these people who have contributed to my growth in life can sometimes be suffocating as well (This does not apply to the Master of course!!). As the term goes Familiarly breeds contempt. this is very true with regards to the outer world. The more time I spend with family and friends, the more i take them for granted and tend to slowly lose respect for them. This is especially true with family. Vidya has been wonderful. I probably could not have gotten a better wife or companion. She is all that i am not - extremely talented , skillful and loving. Yet, when we are together very soon, there is discontentment, disagreement and arguments. even though this might happen once a week or less frequently, it leaves a sore note. but after a few months, these disagreements happen more frequently and i start longing for a personal space without her. The need to fulfil demands and expectations and follow a mundane routine is so stifling. A few years ago, by accident she had to stay for a few weeks away in India and i was in the UK all by myself. There was this intense feeling of complete emptiness in the first week from which gradually disappeared as i indulged myself in work. But i also noticed a new sense of freedom and peace. I did not have to come home at the same time, i did not have to sleep at the same time, could spend as much time in front of the computer and did not have to follow a set routine. There was probably less happiness but there was more peace. less frustration, less feverishness but more peace, more relaxation. I also noticed that I had lot more time. I was not running around like a headless chicken. i had a bit more perspective in life. My Sadhana became more regular, my eating habits more refined and i finally had time to read novels, listen to Guruji's tapes and eat only twice a day. That's when I decided this is such a precious time for me!! this is the time for introspection, and feeling the magnitude of the contribution of these loved ones whom I have been sorely missing in their absence. Ever since I have made this commitment to myself, no matter what, I shall have at least 4 weeks of time for myself each year. I have slowly increased this duration and this year i am having a break for nearly 3 months ( which i think is a bit too much).
Apart from an opportunity for introspection, reflection and personal growth, i feel that this period also prepares me for the absence of the loved ones. Life is unpredictable and there is always a possibility in the future that these loved ones may be no more with me to serve me. How would I manage such a life without them? Also how would they manage without me? So I believe that this separateness makes us independent of each other as well. Life moves from dependence to independence to interdependence. this interdependence should be to help each other grow rather than to cling on to each other. Also i believe real inter-dependence is only possible when there is independence. I have seen Vidya become enormously independent and confident in the last few years. I think that this period of separateness which has forced her to take independent decisions is one of the main reasons for her growth.
Another thing which i have noticed that most of my friends when they are away from their family, they tend to spend all their free time visiting people. This may be one way how the world tries to get rid of the feeling of emptiness or loneliness. I on the contrary choose to shun the outer world except for the bare necessities. I tend not to visit people or restaurants , tend to use my phone less, watch less TV and spend more time with myself! Many think I am crazy.
May be I am!!!
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